The phrase came to me last night as I lay sleepless for hours, thinking about how a disgruntled buyer had left me negative feedback on eBay after I gave him a refund greater than the agreed-upon amount.
A $10 transaction had gone wrong. The buyer was unhappy that the vintage magazine he purchased did not contain a centerfold showing the Marvel super-hero Wonder Man. I confessed that I had not checked the pamphlet for this poster’s presence before sending out the item: it was my fault and I admitted it. I offered to pay for return shipping and issue a full refund upon receipt, or—choice two—I could give a $5 refund and the buyer could keep the slightly incomplete book as it was. He selected the second option and told me it was “All good. These things happen.”
Feeling magnanimous I then decided to refund the man an extra dollar.
Three days passed in silence and then on Sunday night, checking my phone before going to bed, I noticed that I had received an exceedingly rare tally of negative feedback. The strangely enraged buyer had commented that instead of sending him a replacement copy (something I never promised to do) I had taken it upon myself to issue a 60% refund, and that was simply not good enough to make up for the absent Wonder Man pinup.
Why does this happen? Why is there no continuity or logical consistency in people’s actions? Why do people randomly turn vindictive? Had the completely normal, understandable, agreeable buyer on Thursday been replaced by an irate version from across the multiverse on Sunday? Why wait three days after the refund had been given to then explode with a negative review? If there was still a problem, why not message me privately again? He had done so several times previously, as we immediately arrived at a $5 refund compromise and as I then let him know that unfortunately, no, no, I had checked and no other dealers in my network could procure a replacement copy for him. The poster in question is hardly valuable or rare. Why complain when he had been given back 10% more than the amount he had agreed to?
Those are the things I thought about for hours, after taking four sleeping pills to no effect.
As I lay awake sometime around 3am last night (this morning) the phrase “The Great Decline” emerged within my melatonin-resistant mind. Undoubtedly the phrase has been used before, but the top results of a quick Google search reveal relatively low-level partisan considerations: For example, the “great decline” of America began with the (s)election of George W. Bush. So says someone who would be completely incapable of noticing the malignancy of anyone with a (D) after their name. Elsewhere webpages refer to the “great decline” of self-reported religiosity in the West. Woe is us that the slick televangelist brand of Christianity has not attracted more followers, for then this particular “great decline” wouldn’t be an issue.
Apparently.
Whatever.
No.
By “The Great Decline” I mean the recent decline of almost everything everywhere now. Elsewhere we can impress one another with audacious claims about how “Actually the West has been in decline since the rise of mass media” or “…since the Enlightenment” or “…since the banishment from the Garden,” etc. But I mean the more recent decline, the recent listlessness, the malaise—economic or otherwise—and the dysfunctionality of peoples and services. The scope is wide and is beyond my ability to state it other than in shorthand, especially since I am operating on so few hours sleep. But everyone knows what I mean. We had The Great Depression, The Great Society, and now The Great Decline. I think it is a good name.
When did it begin? In 2016 with Brexit and Trump? Or is it more about COVID and the disastrous aftermath of our governments’ protective measures? Was it initiated by the SJWisms and the current round of culture wars? Certainly the mess in Ukraine is a big part of it now, but it didn’t start there. Can we pinpoint the overall downturn to the proliferation of social media and the dysfunction that addiction has entailed? Did the bad time start with The Force Awakens in 2015, or did it start when George Lucas sold the property back in 2012? No, I do not think it started as far back as that.
Either The Great Decline started sometime around 2015 or 2016 and then kicked into greater decline in 2020, or things were getting shitty before but The Great Decline truly started in 2020, “simple as.”
You figure out the details, but everyone knows what I’m talking about.
It isn’t a purely Western thing, either: COVID measures are obviously a part of The Great Decline, and the whole world was affected by them. The tearing of the social fabric and abolishment of IRL decency is global as well. Today a woman in Jordan told me that her country “has deteriorated on all levels, and I’m afraid it’s a little too late to fix it.” It’s happening everywhere, and not just because the internet is everywhere (though that’s obviously a big part of it), and it does seem a little too late to fix it.
In 2020 it seemed to me that we failed a test en masse, as a species. We failed the test in 2020, and by 2021 our failure had become apparent. In 2022 we were stunned, dumbfounded as civilization slowly (relatively slowly) collapsed even further—and this befuddlement actually seemed a relief. People went crazy in 2020 and 2021, but by 2022 we were numb. The world got worse in 2022, the infrastructure fell into further disrepair, but it didn’t seem as though the people themselves got much nastier, meaner, or stupider. Not much more. Now it’s 2023, though; we’ve had our rest and now we can put effort into getting worse again in earnest.
Why should things improve? I have been haunted by this question for some time now. “I hope things get better,” people say, as if they’re waiting for something to happen. But why should things improve for no reason? They shouldn’t. They won’t. Moreover: I don’t think we deserve them to improve. We are a wicked people, and wicked people don’t deserve their lives to improve. We don’t deserve anything better; if anything we deserve things to get even worse, much worse. It would actually be a cosmic injustice if people like us somehow had their lot improved for no reason, when no lessons have been learned, when no penance has been done.
We are terrible. I am not referring to our leaders but to the masses, of which I am a part. We are not innocent. However wicked our leaders are, we elected them. Or if we didn’t elect them, we abide their wickedness. Somewhere in the Bible—I don’t know much of the Bible; I believe in God but don’t believe very much in the Bible—but somewhere in the Bible it suggests that allowing sins to proliferate is also a sin, that toleration of sin is as great a sin as whatever sins are being tolerated.
(In this way the otherwise middling ending of Seinfeld can seem profound. The four characters are incarcerated after having been found guilty of criminal indifference. They laugh at a crime being committed but do not intervene to stop it. Think of this as a societal metaphor for the end of our civilization. What do people do these days? People now laugh at others’ misfortunes, just as the Seinfeld characters laughed at everybody else, and people now laugh at the seeming incompetence of their criminal ruling class. The people do not intervene. The people call their leaders fools and make memes about how retarded their leaders are, but no one really tries to stop the leaders for being incompetent psychopath criminal retards. In this way the people remain innocent on the mundane level of secular legalities, but they become guilty on a more profound level, having let the world go to hell through their criminal indifference. The leaders are guilty of all sorts of crimes against humanity. Very well. And many of the people know this. But those people are just as guilty, just as sinful, as their leaders are, because they do not even really try to stop it.
But what sins am I referring to? Our sins are Our Values™. Often Our Democracy™ refers to Our Values™ but doesn’t say what Our Values™ exactly are. So what are Our Values™? From what I can see Our Values™ are Hypocrisy, Narcissism, and Cowardice.
Hypocrisy because we take our antidepressants and pretend to be good freedom-loving people when we are not good freedom-loving people.
Narcissism is self-evident; it is our defining trait.
Cowardice goes along with the people’s indifference to the criminality around them. They complain but they do not do anything. They do not revolt not because they think revolting would be wrong but because they are too scared to do so. They think of their kids’ immediate future rather than their long-term future. They think of their own retirement, promised pensions, etc. They say they want the system changed. They do not really want the system changed. They are afraid of making any changes; they will accept others’ changes for them, even if this leads to further decline—which it always does—because at least then they will be able to get some more enjoyment out of complaining about things. (Complaining is very nearly another one of Our Values™, but it is basically a mask for Cowardice.)
At least in the West, these are Our Values™ under Our Democracy™. These are the only unique markers I see at this time. Note that Our Values™ form only part of The Great Decline, and that as mentioned above The Great Decline encompasses more than just the West.
Of course this is all highfalutin’.
There—I have written it so the reader can assure themselves that really things aren’t so bad, or maybe some people are so bad but not you, not me, not us—until I leave the room, then I am bad but you’re not, etc.
To ground things, an anecdote on the lack of trust that has developed and the paranoias whirling around us. When dropping off packages at the post office last week I circled through the building three times. The postal worker who is usually behind the counter had gone on break to take her dog outside. It is a small post office and she is the only usual worker. She brings her adorable dog to work with her. The dog causes no problems but eventually someone will complain about it. Everyone says that eventually someone—probably an outsider, a tourist, or someone who owns a seasonal home—will complain about the illegal presence of a dog at the post office. Possibly this will be in response to the postal worker (“postmistress,” we used to call them) disappointing them in some minor way. More likely someone will have a problem with the postmistress’s husband and take it out on her. Or some women will instinctively not like her, will envy her youth and apparently happiness. So they will alert the main office that a dog has been lounging on federal property, and as a result the postmistress will be fired on the spot. Everyone says this will happen.
But, as I say, the postmistress was out walking her dog and I had such hesitancy to simply leave my outgoing packages on her counter. You see, there was an older man talking to an older woman in the lobby. The woman was masked and was maintaining six feet of distance—measures that were always awkward, always dubious, and which seem even more awkward and dubious now in 2023. These measures always strained the social fabric “for the greater good” and they continue to do so now. Even if you still think there are still good reasons for these measures, that, dummy, is not the point. The point is the fact that they strain the social fabric.
To a similar end is the immensely tall clear plastic sneeze-guard (or whatever the technical term is) at the counter. This metal-edged window shields approximately 65% of the counter, but the other 35% on one end is freely open. There is also a rather large rectangular slot hole in the middle of the plastic, which letters and small packages can fit through. In practice, what happens is that all patrons simply go to the side of the counter that’s open. That is the side where people go, and lean over the counter, and talk. Apparently the virus knows not to go with them, however. Nor is the virus smart enough to pass through the slot in the center of the clear plastic. This clear plastic arrived in spring 2020 and will remain indefinitely, no matter how low the local case numbers fall, no matter how awkward and inconvenient and stupid its presence is. It is here now; it is from the government; and no one wants to complain.
But to return to my plight, why did I not simply make my way to the counter (giving the masked woman a wide birth), leave my packages there, and leave? It was because of the old man. I was worried about the old man. I didn’t know him. Despite this being a very small town, the sort of town where 30 or 20 or 10 years ago everyone would know everyone, now today I don’t know half the people I see outside their houses (not that I see many people outside their houses).
I was worried that if the postmistress didn’t return to her post before the masked old woman left, then the old man might get it in his head to take my packages before they could be scanned and placed behind the counter. Why was I worried about this? Because this is how people are now. Some people do weird things and some people worry about other people doing weird things. I thought the man might cause trouble if I left the packages alone with him in the same room. He might have stolen them, for no reason. Or he might have wanted drama. He might have wanted a dramatic excuse to talk to the young postmistress, and my unattended packages might be that excuse. He might know of me even though I don’t know him. He might think he knows me or think he knows something about me that disagrees with him. He might mistake me for some other local person that he’s heard disagreeable things about. There is no end to the possibilities. His programming may revert back to a previous version—he may not have updated mental firmware—and he may think that it’s his duty as a patriotic American to report unattended packages in an effort to fight the War on Terror. He may have called the cops. There’s no end to it.
In the end, after walking through the lobby for a third time, I put my packages on the far (clear) end of the counter and left. The postmistress was leading her dog back toward the building. In another minute or so she would return to her station. Thus there was only a small amount of time—but there was an amount of time—for the old masked woman to potentially go away, leaving the old man alone in the lobby, at which point he could decide to do something to screw with my packages and by extension me. (The packages were full of collectibles, btw—eBay sales, of course.)
But why, again, would the old man do something? Is that a rhetorical question? I don’t trust him not to do something. You see? I have no trust. People will find the most ridiculous things to do or say, in order to ingratiate themselves not with the functioning of society but with the dysfunction. Being part of the problem means at least they’re a part of something.
So in the end I just had to leave things up to chance that way. I was sure that the man wouldn’t try anything if the old woman was still there. Why did I think this? Because I think part of his perverse thrill would be to have the young postmistress there all to himself while he caused a scene over my packages. I do not think he would have done whatever he might do if the old woman was still there only six feet away. Could he have still done something if the old woman was still there? Yes, but I don’t think so and I can’t think so. That would be too paranoid.
***
Soon I will release a new podcast episode. Here is the thumbnail for it:
Past episodes should be available here: https://anchor.fm/fake-andy-warhol-s-15-minutes-in-theory . . . and they should also be on Spotify and Apple (search “Fake Andy Warhol’s 15 Minutes in Theory”).
Alternatively the truly weird anachronistic people can listen via YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@fakeandywarhols15minutesin39
Thank you for reading and I hope to provide you with more, better content again shortly.
This rules. I felt inspired to write for the first time in awhile recently and it was about decline. Seems its in the air. My friends and I have talked for awhile about how services have gotten worse since covid. Fast food workers forget parts of orders, no one cares, fedex employees make you wait to take your completed package, no one cares. But can you really blame them? Its the feeling of the time. I feel it too. I’ve certainly become lazier and more of a shit in some regards.
I can very much relate to your encounter at the post office. I find myself locking my home and car more often than I should feel the need to simply because something could happen, and its not even the consequence I fear, simply the fact that I will have to *deal* with something. I already have to deal with laundry, and emails, and keeping my face clean, who wants to add on anything else? I heard a great blurb today about how we all know we should cook more, exercise more, read etc but we rarely do. I think that really sums up where we are, an age of unprecedented knowledge and equally unprecedented apathy. Generations before people threw themselves into mineshafts and drank lead with reckless abandon because improvement was on the horizon; now people can’t even show up to virtual meetings with doordash breakfast and fuzzy socks because decline is all we see coming.
The postmistress and her dog sound very nice by the way, I hope no one ruins it anytime soon. Reminds me of my time in the hospital this morning, when the security guard at check-in told me I “couldn’t sit like that” in regards to my sitting lengthwise along some bench seating in one of the only areas without a TV blaring something awful about a kid shooting a teacher or migrants riding in garbage trucks. Bench seating that, mind you, no one has ever used, and I was taking up maybe 1/5 of. Thankfully I later found an empty prayer room and lied down on the seating there.
Oh and I feel you on the ebay thing, I bought some mtg singles on ebay awhile back and realized many sellers didn’t accurately advertise their cards. When I reached out for correction one person said they’d fix things if I sent it back. I did (paying for postage myself of course). They sent me a refund rather than the correct card. But hey, what can you do. No one cares